Behind the Video Game The Legend of Zelda
by Sir Exal
Summary: A Behind the Music look at the Legend of Zelda. Sir Exal Did sayth, "Let there be a new Chapter," And there was, and it was good. And the reviewers did Reviewth, and it was good. Sorry for lousy format, PG for adult situations.
1. Link's Awakening

I do not ownth The Legend of Zelda Series, or Behind The Music. However, I do   
  
ownth Behind the Video Game. You can not take that from me! You can take my   
  
life, but you can never take MY FREEDOM!!!!  
  
Tonight, on Behind The Video Game: (theme music plays, shows quick pictures of   
  
all the Zelda games.) The Legend of Zelda is arguably the best series ever. But was   
  
slicing Moblins really that exciting behind the screens?  
  
Link: I was worked like a DOG.  
  
Marth,high school friend and apartment mate of Link: He worked like a DOG.  
  
Shigeru Miyamoto, CEO of Nintendo: He... had a very good work ethic.  
  
Tonight, we see if being the game of the century was really enough for the stars of the   
  
Legend of Zelda. (Theme plays, words flash on screen: Swords, Lies, Heroes, Villains,   
  
Secondary Characters.)   
  
Here, in the the sleepy town of Eluryh, (el-er-ya) Alabama, is where the warrior was born,   
  
and where he got his first taste of weaponry.   
  
Link: In third grade, my mom gave me a weed-whacker. It was FUN to use. I would   
  
chop down grass and bushes all day. One day, a (cough) bird got too close to the   
  
whacker, and, well...  
  
Marth: Eluryh farmers hated him from then on.  
  
Despite angry chicken farmers, Link successfully graduated from high school   
  
and went to Georgia State College, where he majored in public speaking. In the   
  
dorm, he spent much of his time playing Atari.   
  
Link: Considering my major, you'd think I would talk in my games.   
  
Yami Keto, plays Yami Yugi on Yu-Gi-Oh: Being roomates with Link was great.   
  
We would play Pong and Burgertime all night. I always won, of course, hee hee..  
  
Jason, aka Blaster Master, another roommate: They would play at the arcade   
  
until the cows came home!  
  
(Extreme close-up of cow, who moos as dramatic music plays.)  
  
Cows or no cows, Link graduated Alpha Kappa Euro, and moved into the   
  
apartment of his old buddy Marth .  
  
Link: There just were not many jobs for people with my major. Fortunately, I   
  
managed to find a way onto the gaming scene. I was at a typing seminar, and the   
  
man next to me said I had great-looking wrists. It was weird, but for some reason   
  
I thanked him, and asked him who he was. When he told me, I was amazed. I was   
  
talking to the director of Donkey Kong, Shigeru Miyamoto!   
  
Miyamoto: I had been looking for a action hero to rival that square in   
  
Adventure, and after Link showed me his skills with a weed-whacker, I got him a   
  
sword to practice with. I knew he was destined for greatness.  
  
Marth: The landlord was really ticked about the chicken bodies and the slash   
  
marks in the walls.   
  
The Legend of Zelda hero was found. But would Miyamoto find a Villain and a   
  
damsel in time? Next:  
  
Ganondork: ITS GANONDORF, NOT GANONDORK, YOU DUMB NARRATOR!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So, how did thou like my first try? If thou hadst the month or day that some of the old Zelda games hath been released, please reviewth them to me. Be back in a week. Many thanks, Sir Exal.  
  
P.S. That freedom thing was from Braveheart. 


	2. The legend begins

Greetings again! I have been reading all of your reviews, and thou art   
  
good   
  
to me.   
  
Considering that this was my first fanfic, I didst rather well. I'm   
  
e-mailing this to   
  
someone so they can puth it up, so don't flameth me if it is a little   
  
weird.   
  
Witness the   
  
new chapter I hath writ.  
  
I doth not own The Legend of Zelda, nor do I own Behind the Music. And   
  
why do   
  
I not? I   
  
hate that! Curseth you, Buzz Lightyear!  
  
commercial  
  
Sargent: Be careful with that bazooka, Private.  
  
Private: Yes, Sir! I'll be...  
  
Bazooka: BOOM!  
  
Private: Oops...Sorry.  
  
The bazooka shell goes out into the parking lot. It explodes,   
  
destroying a   
  
car.  
  
Guy In Red Van: Uh oh...Better get Maaco!  
  
end commercial  
  
Welcome back to... behind the Video Game. (theme music plays again,   
  
words   
  
flash on   
  
screen: Courage, Power, Wisdom, Weapons, Chickens, Annoying Fairies.)  
  
Link had been discovered, but where would Nintendo find the other   
  
cast   
  
members? The   
  
answer came, but not where they thought it would come from.  
  
Zelda: I am not really a princess, OK? I am just an ordinary girl from   
  
California. (runs   
  
hands through hair, we see bracelets, rings, and gold-plated   
  
fingernails.)  
  
Link: I went to a party, and during the main event of it I saw her.  
  
Zelda: I keep telling you, popping out of the cake was just something I   
  
was   
  
doing between   
  
jobs.   
  
Shigeru Miyamoto, director of the Legend of Zelda: From the second   
  
Link   
  
brought her in,   
  
I could tell she had a great body for video games. The profession was   
  
calling out to her.   
  
There was no way this was going to pass me by.   
  
Zelda: Shigeru kept coming on to me. He was practically stalking me.  
  
Link: Now, let me set the record straight. There was NEVER anything   
  
between   
  
Zelda and   
  
me. Our relationship was completely professional.   
  
Zelda: Link was coming on to me, too.  
  
With the princess hired  
  
Zelda: I am not a princess!  
  
and taping about to start, things were looking dire.  
  
Link: We needed to find a bad guy, fast!  
  
Marth, apartment mate of Link: Link once remarked to me that his   
  
company was   
  
looking   
  
for a villain for their next production. I jokingly said something   
  
like, how   
  
about our   
  
landlord? We were laughing our heads off, when suddenly he burst   
  
through the   
  
door.  
  
Ganondork: I am GANONDORF! Anyway, I was substituting for my brother,   
  
who was   
  
getting an ulcer removed. I asked them about paying the rent, and they   
  
just   
  
were staring   
  
at me, maybe at my large nose, maybe at my family jewel on my forehead.   
  
I   
  
screamed,   
  
LISTEN YOU MAGGOTS, I WANT THE RENT!   
  
Link: I knew this was the person we could use. I told him that my boss   
  
had   
  
not given me  
  
my pay yet so he went to tell Shigeru what for.  
  
Miyamoto: I hired him on the spot. It could have been the skin color,   
  
the   
  
fingernails, the   
  
bad oral hygiene... He almost made me deaf in one ear. He was going to   
  
be a   
  
big bad guy.  
  
  
  
Taping was ready to begin, but games are never made without lots of   
  
mistakes.   
  
Poor   
  
acting and other errors threatened to make the deadline inaccessible.  
  
Link: I had never acted before, and I kept staring at the camera.   
  
Eventually,   
  
we had to   
  
move the camera onto a sky hook, resulting in the isometric view that   
  
became   
  
our   
  
trademark.   
  
Poor scripts also presented a roadblock, as this rare clip shows.   
  
clip  
  
Random Old Man: Thou must taketh this pointy sword and smiteth the big   
  
evil   
  
dude.  
  
Link: Aw, man! I just wanna have fun, not kill anyone.  
  
ROM: Well tough!   
  
clip ends  
  
Miyamoto: I do not know why we hired that writer. I think he went on   
  
to   
  
write scripts for   
  
Resident Evil.  
  
Game Clip of Resident Evil shows  
  
Barry: Here is a lock pick. It might be useful if you, the master of   
  
unlocking, take it with   
  
you.  
  
End of Resident Evil Clip  
  
Zelda: We could not have fired him fast enough.  
  
Link: After we finished the taping, we were all exhausted. But we were   
  
not   
  
exhausted  
  
enough to not argue about what the title should be.  
  
Ganondork: They practically came to blows about The Legend of Zelda Vs.   
  
The   
  
Legend of   
  
Link. Oh, and did I mention my name is GANONDORF?!  
  
Zelda: Finally, we settled on The Legend of Zelda for the first game,   
  
and The   
  
Legend of   
  
Link for the second. We told Mr. Miyamoto about this, and he agreed.   
  
The Legend of Zelda was released in July of 1987, and it took the world   
  
by   
  
surprise.  
  
Jason Fox, video game expert: The Legend of Zelda is a classic in every   
  
sense   
  
of the   
  
word. The two quests, the ultimate adversaries, all those secrets...   
  
excuse   
  
me, I need to   
  
get out my NES.  
  
Yami Keto, Yami Yugi on Yu-Gi-Oh: I had been wondering what Link had   
  
been d  
  
oing in   
  
life,and I got my answer. When I saw Link on a game I called him up,   
  
congratulated him,   
  
but I wondered why they said his name was Zelda. I was embarrassed when   
  
he   
  
said it was   
  
the princess who had the name Zelda.  
  
Zelda: I am NOT a princess!!  
  
Link: That whole calling me Zelda thing got annoying. By the way,   
  
Hyrule came   
  
from   
  
reversing the letters in my hometown, Eluryh.  
  
  
  
Ganondorf: IT IS GANON... sigh I swear that every kid in America was   
  
beating up on me.   
  
I dreaded more games of that. Then I realized how I was getting paid,   
  
with   
  
big royalties,   
  
to get beat up.   
  
With the first Zelda game a smash, what would the future hold for the   
  
Elf,   
  
Girl, and   
  
Gerudo? Next:  
  
Ganondork: I aplogize for the...unpleasantness, but I really thought   
  
she was   
  
another   
  
Gerudo. What I did was common behavior.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter two done. About time, too! Readth and Reviewth please!   
  
Ganondorf: I just realized you called me Ganondork again. HAAA (begins   
  
Warlock punch)  
  
0.o Gulp. See you in a week... assuming I get back in time!  
  
Ganondorf: AAAHH (sends me flying)  
  
Sir Exal is blasting off again! (star finish) ding 


	3. A Legendary Followup

Helloth! I, Sir Exal, am backth. I am a greath writer! Why did I only   
  
get   
  
oneth review after   
  
my firsth chapter? REVIEW, OR I SHALL SUCK OUT YOUR BRAINSTH!   
  
HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
(Sir Exal comes in)  
  
Hi, I am back, and...wattson dee, (look for his story, coming soon.)   
  
have you   
  
been   
  
pretending to be me again?  
  
wd: uh...Noth  
  
(Sigh) I knew it. Just because you do not haveth a story does not mean   
  
you   
  
can taketh   
  
over mine.   
  
wd: (looks sad)   
  
Fine, you can do the disclaimer.  
  
wd: ^_^ Sir Exal does not own own The Legend of Zelda, nor does he own   
  
Behind   
  
the Music.   
  
He owns all ideas in this fanfic... wait, does that mean he owns me!?   
  
AHHHHHHHH! (runs   
  
around in circles)  
  
Hee hee... enjoy the new chapter. Oh, by the way, I promised Ganondorf   
  
I will   
  
not callth him   
  
Ganondork anymore...   
  
(picture of chessboard at a national championship, white has a king and   
  
a few   
  
pawns left,   
  
while black still has nearly all his pieces.)  
  
Assistant to White player: Well, you have very few moves left... but I   
  
have   
  
good news.  
  
White player: I can still win?  
  
Assistant to White player: No, I just saved a bunch of money on my car   
  
insurance by   
  
switching to Geico. Good luck. (leaves)  
  
Voice: Geico. 15 minutes or more can save you 15% or more on car   
  
insurance.  
  
Welcome back to... Behind the Video Game (theme music plays, words   
  
flash on   
  
screen:  
  
slashing, Bosses, Mock, YEAH, ing, YEAH, Bird, YEAH.)  
  
The Legend of Zelda was a huge success, but Nintendo needed more.  
  
Link: We just did not want to die out like Bubsy and Master Blaster   
  
would   
  
later.  
  
Bubsy & Master Blaster: Hey!  
  
Zelda: We knew two things: We needed another game, and Nintendo was   
  
making a   
  
big fuss   
  
about their Game Boy, which was still being developed. So, we decided   
  
to make   
  
a game on   
  
the Game Boy.  
  
Ganonjerk: We decided to tell Shigeru about it.   
  
Shigeru Miyamoto, director of the Legend of Zelda: I was unsure about   
  
putting such   
  
colorful people on a handheld, and my partners agreed with me. I   
  
calmly told   
  
them, no   
  
handhelds.  
  
Link: He demanded that we do our work ONLY on consoles.  
  
Ganondorm room: It may have gotten to death threats at one time.  
  
The team went to work on The Legend of Link, but with things that were   
  
not   
  
seen in the   
  
first game.  
  
Link: We had magic spells,  
  
Zelda: RPG level upping,  
  
Ganonwharf: A snack table,  
  
Miayamoto: the side scrolling action,  
  
Man the Cannondorf!: and a $250 a week pay raise!  
  
Link: As we were making it, we still had the urge to be shown on the   
  
Game   
  
Boy. So, I   
  
worked late with some of the cast and crew members, and started to   
  
create a   
  
game.  
  
But the long hours and the two different games he worked on took his   
  
toll, as   
  
this shows.  
  
clip  
  
(Marin is pacing worriedly, while Link sleeps in the bed...Marin then   
  
sees   
  
that Link is still   
  
not awake, and paces faster, and faster, until)  
  
Link: zzzzzzzzzzzzz  
  
Marin: Crap, he is really asleep! Someone get a bucket of water and   
  
some   
  
coffee!  
  
Marth, Apartment... Aw, you know: I do not think Shigeru bought that he   
  
was   
  
tring to get   
  
through one more level of Phantasy Star every night.  
  
But, narcolepsy aside, both games were making progress.   
  
Miamoto: The Legend of Link was ready to go in November, but, once   
  
again, we   
  
ran into   
  
problems with the title. Thew focus groups said that compleatly   
  
changing   
  
the title to The   
  
Legend Of Link would turn off some of our players.  
  
Zelda: I could of told them that.   
  
Link: So the title became: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link.  
  
Comic Book Guy, Comic Book Guy: There is no feeling I had for the game   
  
other   
  
than   
  
disapointment at the loss of similarities. Then I played it and it   
  
showed   
  
that games do not   
  
have to be simliar to be great. Now remember, it is a $100 minimum   
  
purchase   
  
for   
  
interviews. May I recommend this video of a rare episode of The Mario   
  
Brothers Super   
  
Show, in which Luigi goes on a killing spree?  
  
Link: I realized that with The Adventure of Link finished, I could no   
  
longer   
  
work secretly   
  
on The Game Boy version... but it did not matter. I had something   
  
better to   
  
do anyway.  
  
Ganonfourth place: Yeah, go on dates with every girl that crossed your   
  
path!   
  
The big N   
  
was trying out other series...Mega Man, the Battletoads--I am still   
  
friends   
  
with   
  
Pimple--and Final Fantasy.   
  
Zelda: We appreciated the break.  
  
But, with the upcoming creation of the SNES, the break was not going to   
  
last   
  
long. Coming   
  
up:  
  
Link: Yes, I took the Mario cape from his dressing room to put in the   
  
game.   
  
But really,   
  
where was I going to find another magic cape?(pauses) Yeah...a guess   
  
you   
  
could find it at   
  
Magic Capes R Us...but still...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Another chapter ist down... and I am still waiting for more   
  
reviews. So..  
  
3 4 shut the Ganondoor: You called me everything BUT Ganondorf!!!!   
  
Prepare to   
  
die! HAAAA   
  
(begins warlock punch)  
  
( I pressth B, pullth out wattson dee.)  
  
Ganon and on and on and ondorf: AHHHH! ( hits wattson dee, wattson dee   
  
counters,   
  
Ganondorf goes flying) IIIIEEEE!  
  
wd: ^.^  
  
See what a little SSBM experance can do? Seeth you next time. 


	4. The Weakest Link?

MY LORDE! Why have I gotten only one review since my second chapter?   
  
Art my   
  
story not good enough for thee? ERRRGGGGHHHH! Sorry, just hast to leth   
  
off   
  
some steam... But I would liketh some more reviews. SO PLEASE readth   
  
and   
  
reviewth.  
  
Disclaimer: Yessss...I ownth The Legend of Zelda... I also ownth Behind   
  
the   
  
Music... I own them... My precioussss... (Laughs Maniacally) (get   
  
carried off   
  
by guys in white shirts)  
  
Ganondorf: Sir Exal owns nothing. Now go away, I have to get in my spot   
  
before the commercial ends.  
  
Host-like guy: O.K... open your eyes.   
  
Husband: Oh my...this house is a wreck!  
  
Wife: The paints are still out!  
  
Host-like guy: Yeah...the Jeffersons really did a number on your house.   
  
But I   
  
do have good news.   
  
Wife: You just saved a bunch of money on your car by switching to   
  
Geico.  
  
Host-like guy: No, I lowered my cholesterol today.  
  
Honey Nut Bee: Bee Happy. Bee Healthy.  
  
Welcome back to: Behind the Video Game (theme music plays, words   
  
flash on   
  
screen: Elves, Dekus, Mary Sues, Lions, Tigers, Bears, Oh My!)  
  
Nintendo was coming up with a new game system, the Super NES. What   
  
would this   
  
hold for the hero? No one expected the answer.  
  
Link: I was an early play tester for Super Mario World. I was elated,   
  
because this meant I could work on my pet project, the Game Boy Zelda.  
  
And that pet project would bring more than just petting...  
  
Zelda: It happened so gradually, I barely noticed. Link and Marin   
  
holding   
  
hands, the occasional date... It was almost magic.   
  
Magic...that would threaten to rip the team apart.  
  
Shigeru Miyamoto: As he started work on the SNES game I, noticed he   
  
was   
  
slacking off...forgetting lines, getting pounded in to the dirt by   
  
Octoroks, that   
  
sort of thing.  
  
Ganondor (AHEM!) f: I recognized it immediately as Smallpox. Then I   
  
read   
  
about smallpox a bit and realized that Link was in love. I told   
  
Shigeru and he   
  
could not believe it.  
  
Shigeru: I did not even know celebrities actually fell in love.   
  
Link: When he asked me about who my crush was on, I made the mistake of   
  
saying that I met her while working on the other game...soon, I had   
  
admitted   
  
everything.  
  
Zelda: Shigeru hated the Game Boy Game idea. He yelled at Link until   
  
his   
  
voice gave out. Actually, I think Shigeru kept yelling after Link lost   
  
his voice.  
  
Link: He docked my pay and made me work overtime in the dark world.   
  
(chuckles) I do not think A Link to the Past would have been as good   
  
without my   
  
overtime.  
  
Zelda: Marin heard about this, and she ran home.   
  
Ganondorf: None of us saw her for several months.   
  
Link: I tried calling her, but got this recording: You have reached   
  
Marin. Do   
  
not bother leaving a message, I will probably just end up ruining your   
  
life.  
  
Zelda: He took the rage out on us... I tried to understand, but...it   
  
was   
  
hard.   
  
Shigeru: I was no longer seeing the passion Link usually put into his   
  
work. I   
  
took him off decaf, then asked Zelda what was wrong.  
  
Zelda: I told him that he missed his new game, and he missed Marin. We   
  
put   
  
our heads together, rubbed them in pain, and got an idea. I showed   
  
Shigeru what   
  
we had done on the Game Boy game, which Link then called Zelda GB, and   
  
he   
  
liked it. We knew how to combine bringing back both.  
  
Shigeru: I called Marin explaining our plan, then Link telling him to   
  
film   
  
more of Zelda GB.   
  
Link: I was walking on a part of the set, when I heard the voice of   
  
Marin   
  
calling for help. She was stuck on a crumbling part of the set. Without   
  
thinking, I used my Hookshot to hook a rock behind her, and zoom her to   
  
safety. I   
  
heard applause. The whole thing had been filmed! It was like I woke up   
  
from a funk   
  
that day. Marin and I looked into the other ones eyes and kissed. Our   
  
first   
  
real kiss, on screen. It was beautiful. (starts to sob)  
  
Shigeru: We named the game Links Awakening after that.  
  
The Legend of Zelda: A link to the Past was sent to stores in April   
  
1992,   
  
even with the Link/Marin romance growing, with Links Awakening to   
  
follow in   
  
August a year later.  
  
Hsu Tanaka, Game designer, Tanaka Gaming: A Link to the Past was   
  
awesome.   
  
The third best video game of all time. It was a guide for lots of   
  
knockoffs.   
  
Chan Tanaka, Game designer, Tanaka Gaming: Those trees are not   
  
trademarked,   
  
right?  
  
Hsu: I'll ask. Hey Chan, you should tell them about Links Awakening.  
  
Chan: Sure. First the alarm clock goes off, and Link hits it. Then   
  
he...what?   
  
Oh, I stalked him for a while in 93. Anyway...Where are you taking me?  
  
  
  
(Police officers arrest Chan and shove him into the police car.)  
  
(Hsu is amazed.)  
  
Link and Marin were married the day after Links Awakening hit stores.   
  
Link: we spent our Honeymoon, of all places, on the now peaceful set of   
  
A   
  
Link to the Past.   
  
Zelda: We wanted to start the next game, The Legend of Zelda: The Great   
  
Trek,   
  
quickly. But some news came that rocked all of our worlds.  
  
Ganondorf: Hey, I am back! Anyway, we learned that Marin had gotten   
  
breast   
  
cancer. The production was put on hold while we waited tensely for what   
  
would   
  
happen.  
  
The bombshell had had hit. (picture of nuclear explosion) What would   
  
happen   
  
to the series in its nuclear winter? Next:  
  
Link: (sobs uncontrollably) TURN OFF THE CAMERA!!!!! (fires arrow at   
  
screen,   
  
lots of static).  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
GIVETH ME REVIEWS!!!!!! EVEN FLAMES!!!!!!! Whooo... I art sane again,   
  
but   
  
don't worry. It will be goneth by next week.   
  
wd: HI! My story, Murder on Smasher Street, will be up very soon! Like   
  
today   
  
or tomorrow!   
  
MURDER??? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
wd: Looks like he is not as sane as he thought... See ya! 


End file.
